Monday, June 15, 2009

Tour de Tykes (a.k.a. Danville) Race Report

It's been a while since I've posted a race report. To my adoring fan I apologize (Sorry B). To my detractors (i.e., Campbell) I humbly say, "Shut your hole or do it yourself ." Anyway...

Sunday June 7, 2009 marked the 4th race in the MASS XC series; the fabled Tour de Tykes race in Danville, PA. The racing field was definitely smaller this year than in past years, which is especially odd considering that the temperature this year at 80 degrees was 21 degrees cooler (yeah that's right 21 degrees) than last year's race temperature and last year's race was one of the most attended Danville has ever seen. June 7, 2009 was also the day of the "Philly Bike Race," and the associated party, which probably accounts for a large portion of the absent racers.

In any event, Team LoweRiders again fielded a strong group of racers. Most TLR racers traveled to Danville the day before the race and camped at Hess field in anticipation of participating in the "Hess Fest", which will hitherto be referred to as the Hess Unfest as aside from the camping racers there really wasn't anyone else around "festing". We "carbo-loaded," hung out, ate dinner, worked on our rigs, and Ktown and Sandra danced on stage with the Salamanders (click here for more information/incriminating evidence on that little tid bit). A fun time was had by all.

I have to give the Salamanders credit; no one, I mean no one, was watching them, and they just kept on rocking. That takes an extra special kind of self-delusion and for that I applaud them.

We could not have asked for better camping weather, cool, comfortable, quiet, and flat. The race course, however, was anything but flat. With 3,600 ft. of climbing over the 18 mile Exlite/Expert course, I found myself wondering if the race promoters had actually ever ridden the race course (it turns out they have/had) because of how difficult it was. Riding a single-speed I also found myself playing a little game I'll refer to as, "What I Would Give Right Now for Gears". Kidney? Sure why not I've got two anyway. Fingers? Okay, technically I only need a couple on each hand to pull the break lever and hold the bar. Left testicle? Well, Lance seems to be doing alright with one and my knees and back are killing me, give me the knife I'll do it myself. Uhuh...

Aside from the relentless climbing the course was awesome and the race was well run. TLR's results are provided below.

Podium Finishers:

Ron Harding - First Place, Expert Singlespeed Open (Hmmmm...)
Adam Joellsson - Third Place, Expert Singlespeed Open (Nice work, nice work...)
Kathleen Harding - First Place, Elite Women (Yeah!, money, money...)
Daniel Stein - Third Place, Sport Junior - 18 & Under (Dan has been tearing it up.)
Dan Dix - First Place, Sport Senior II Men - 30-34 (You are such a freaking sandbagger, man up already...)
Michael Campbell - Second Place, Sport Senior II Men - 30-34 (Nice work Campbell, seriously though shut your hole.)
Linda Mattioni - First Place, Sport Women I - 19-34 (Since you finished smiling and confessing that it was, "easy," me thinks a female sandbagger is amongst us.)
Douglas Morrell - Second Place, Sport Singlespeed Open (Nice work man keep it up.)
Jason Koenig - Third Place, Sport Singlespeed Open (Jay is new and already tearing it up.)


Bill Showers - Tenth Place, Elite Open (Tenth place elite, freaking-a right!)
Larry Distefano - Eighth Place, Expert Master 1 Men 45-49 (Master Experts are inspiring.)
Steve Collina - Sixth Place, Sport Veteran II Men (Too bad you're too old to race in Sport Senior II, yet another reason not to get old.)
Joel Flambaum - Eighteenth Place, Sport Veteran II Men (Way to bump up to sport buddy, keep it up.)
Gary Witmer - Eighth Place, Sport Clydesdale Men (Nice work man.)
Jason Vliet - Thirteenth Place, Sport Clydesdale Men (Jason's from Ithaca, NY always a trooper.)
James Brower - Fourth Place, Beginner Senior I Men 19-29 (Newbie...camped and raced, diving right in.)

Those that DNF'd:

Todd Strauss (a.k.a. El Presidente)


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